Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Why The Filipino Hell Is So Popular

Received this in my email one time. Sharing is loving, so, I'm sharing it with you.


Q:Why is the Filipino Hell sooo popular?

A: because.....

A Filipino dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks "What do they do here?" He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the US , Spanish hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Filipino hell and finds that there is a very long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks, "What do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Filipino devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"


"Because there is always a brownout, so the electric chair does not work.
Somebody stole all the nails to sell it per kilo. And the devil used to be a government official, so he comes in, punches his time-card, shakes hands with
all the people waiting there and then goes back home."

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Why girls are Better Than Boys

Little Johnny and Jane are playing in the garden when they start having an argument about whether boys are better than girls.

After a while Johnny stands up and pulls down his shorts saying, "Boys are better than girls 'cause you haven't got one of these!" Jane looks at him in astonishment as she knows that she hasn't got one of those between her legs. She bursts out crying and rushes inside to her mother. A little while later she comes back out with a big smile on her face.

"My mum says girls are better than boys," she says.

"No they're not," says Johnny pulling down his shorts, "You haven't got one of these!"

Jane looks at him, then raises her skirt, pulls down her panties and says, "My mum says that as long as I've got one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!"

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

In the Mind of A Pinoy Kid

  • One night, my aunt made some mango juice. His 5 year old son came in the kitchen and ask for a glass of the mango juice. He told me, "Ate, have some it's sooo delicious....even though it has no taste".
  • My 4 year old nephew-in-law and I were watching pictures from my cellphone. We stumble upon my mom's picture and asked me who she is. I told him," she's my mom,your lola baby". "where is she now" he asked me back. "In heaven", I said. He paused for a while and look at me earnestly and said " Why are you still here and not in heaven?".

Monday, December 24, 2007

Estudyante Blues

Sa Math Class...
Teacher: Banong, kung meron akong 1 piraso ng karne at hinati ko ito, ilang piraso na?
Banong: 2 po mam!
Teacher: At kung hnati ko pa pareho?
Banong: 4 na piraso po!
Teacher: Hinati ko ulit.
Banong: 8 piraso po.
Teacher: Hinati ko pa.
Banong: 16 po mam.
Teacher: Hinati ko pa?
Banong: 32 piraso na po!
Teacher: Kung hinati ko ulit?
Banong: 64 po! (nakangiti)
Teacher: At hinati ko pa? 2 beses ko pang hinati?
Banong: Ay susmaryosep mam! GINILING napo! GINILING!!!
==================================================
TEACHER: okay class our lesson for today is science. What is science?
PEDRO: ako ma'am! Ako ma'am!
TEACHER: okay Pedro, what is science?
PEDRO: science is our lesson for today.
====================================================

TEACHER: ano ang pambansang ibon?
BOY: chicken?
TEACHER: hindi! kulay brown ito!
BOY: fried chicken!
TEACHER: hindi! mas maliit ito sa chicken.
BOY: knorr chicken cubes!
TEACHER: get out!
====================================================

STUDENT: ma'am, pagagalitan niyo po ba ako sa bagay na hindi ko naman ginawa?
TEACHER: natural hindi.
STUDENT: good, di ko po ginawa assignment ko!
====================================================

TEACHER: mga bata, alam niyo ba na ang bawat butil ng palay ay galing sa dugo't pawis ng mga magsasaka?
MGA BATA: eeewwww!
====================================================

TITSER: ba't ka na-late?
EDWARD: nawalan ho kasi ng 500 yung lalaki.
TITSER: tinulungan mo siyang maghanap?
EDWARD: hindi po, tinapakan ko lang hanggang umalis siya.
====================================================

1. Trulalu.
2. eklavu
3. eklavu.
4. trulalu
5. eklavu
6. trulalu
7. trulalu.
8. eklavu
9. trulalu
10. trulalu
-batang bading nagsasagot ng true or false na quiz.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY NEW YEAR & BEST WISHES. Start the day with a smile. =)

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