In My Mind

Little Johnny and Jane are playing in the garden when they start having an argument about whether boys are better than girls.

After a while Johnny stands up and pulls down his shorts saying, "Boys are better than girls 'cause you haven't got one of these!" Jane looks at him in astonishment as she knows that she hasn't got one of those between her legs. She bursts out crying and rushes inside to her mother. A little while later she comes back out with a big smile on her face.

"My mum says girls are better than boys," she says.

"No they're not," says Johnny pulling down his shorts, "You haven't got one of these!"

Jane looks at him, then raises her skirt, pulls down her panties and says, "My mum says that as long as I've got one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!"

Posted by jaren at 12:14 AM 0 comments  

Labels: humor

• One night, my aunt made some mango juice. His 5 year old son came in the kitchen and ask for a glass of the mango juice. He told me, "Ate, have some it's sooo delicious....even though it has no taste".
• My 4 year old nephew-in-law and I were watching pictures from my cellphone. We stumble upon my mom's picture and asked me who she is. I told him," she's my mom,your lola baby". "where is she now" he asked me back. "In heaven", I said. He paused for a while and look at me earnestly and said " Why are you still here and not in heaven?".
  

Posted by jaren at 4:36 AM 0 comments  

Labels: Family, humor

I was in Manila last week. I can't help noticing the urinals for men put by the MMDA on certain areas especially in the Municipality of Parañaque. The good side of it is, men won't just pee anywhere they like when the urged comes because of these urinals. The downside is...it STINKS!!! The urine has no proper outlet or drainage thus the foul smell.I bet people passing by especially tourists can't help but grimace with annoyance. I just can't imagine who is the brain of these pink urinal.Just take a look at the picture. What do u say? Only in the Philippines ehhh?=)

Posted by jaren at 11:13 PM 0 comments  

Labels: urinals

What amazing gifts the new year
brings! An entire
year's worth of wonderful
opportunities, given to us
one sunrise at a time. Many of the
moments ahead will
be marvelously disguised as ordinary
days, but each one
of us has the chance to make something
extraordinary
out of them.

Each new day is a blank page in the
diary of your life.
The secret of success is in turning
that diary into the
best story you possibly can. Have
pages on understanding
and tales of overcoming hardships.
Fill your story with
enthusiasm, adventure, learning, and
laughter. And make
each chapter reflect time doing these
things:


Follow your dreams. Work hard. Be
kind. Do what you
can to make the door open on a day
that is filled with
inspiration in some special way.
Remember: Goodness
will be rewarded. Smiles will pay you
back. Have fun.
Find strength. Be truthful. Have
faith. Don't focus on
anything you lack.


Realize that people are the treasures
in life, and
happiness is the real wealth. Have a
diary that
describes how you're doing your best,
and... the rest will take care of
itself.
- by Douglas Pagels

Posted by jaren at 6:25 PM 2 comments  

Labels: new year, resolution

Sa Math Class...
Teacher: Banong, kung meron akong 1 piraso ng karne at hinati ko ito, ilang piraso na?
Banong: 2 po mam!
Teacher: At kung hnati ko pa pareho?
Banong: 4 na piraso po!
Teacher: Hinati ko ulit.
Banong: 8 piraso po.
Teacher: Hinati ko pa.
Banong: 16 po mam.
Teacher: Hinati ko pa?
Banong: 32 piraso na po!
Teacher: Kung hinati ko ulit?
Banong: 64 po! (nakangiti)
Teacher: At hinati ko pa? 2 beses ko pang hinati?
Banong: Ay susmaryosep mam! GINILING napo! GINILING!!!
==================================================
TEACHER: okay class our lesson for today is science. What is science?
PEDRO: ako ma'am! Ako ma'am!
TEACHER: okay Pedro, what is science?
PEDRO: science is our lesson for today.
====================================================

TEACHER: ano ang pambansang ibon?
BOY: chicken?
TEACHER: hindi! kulay brown ito!
BOY: fried chicken!
TEACHER: hindi! mas maliit ito sa chicken.
BOY: knorr chicken cubes!
TEACHER: get out!
====================================================

STUDENT: ma'am, pagagalitan niyo po ba ako sa bagay na hindi ko naman ginawa?
TEACHER: natural hindi.
STUDENT: good, di ko po ginawa assignment ko!
====================================================

TEACHER: mga bata, alam niyo ba na ang bawat butil ng palay ay galing sa dugo't pawis ng mga magsasaka?
MGA BATA: eeewwww!
====================================================

TITSER: ba't ka na-late?
EDWARD: nawalan ho kasi ng 500 yung lalaki.
TITSER: tinulungan mo siyang maghanap?
EDWARD: hindi po, tinapakan ko lang hanggang umalis siya.
====================================================

1. Trulalu.
2. eklavu
3. eklavu.
4. trulalu
5. eklavu
6. trulalu
7. trulalu.
8. eklavu
9. trulalu
10. trulalu
-batang bading nagsasagot ng true or false na quiz.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY NEW YEAR & BEST WISHES. Start the day with a smile. =)

Posted by jaren at 8:26 PM 0 comments  

Labels: filipino students, humor

1. "Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example.To yourself, respect." -- Oren Arnold

2. "The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other." -- Burton Hillis


3. "A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, But softly gives itself away; While quite unselfish, it grows small." -- Eva K. Logue


4. "It is not even the beginning of Christmas unless it is Christmas in the heart."
-- Richard Roberts


5. Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles. ~Author Unknown

6. Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas."
- Peg Bracken.

7. There are no strangers on Christmas Eve." - Adele Comandini

8. Remember, if Christmas isn't found in your heart, you won't find it under a tree."
- Charlotte Carpenter

9. This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone. - Taylor Caldwell

10. Best of all, Christmas means a spirit of love, a time when the love of God and the love of our fellow men should prevail over all hatred and bitterness, a time when our thoughts and deeds and the spirit of our lives manifest the presence of God. - George F. McDougall

Posted by jaren at 3:45 AM 0 comments  

Months before christmas I already have my long list of wishes and prayers to Jesus. In this uncertain world and trying times, prayer is my constant armor. Praying to Him up above is one thing I'm sure of that won't be left unanswered. He may not answer instantly, it can take days, months, or years.But He certainly will, not in our own time, but in His time. Deep in my heart He will grant them.

These are some of my list to Jesus.=)

1. I fervently pray that my husband would be home for the holidays or before the year ends. (He stay in the US and me stays here in the Phils. Unexpected expenses make it just impossible for him to come home.)
2. I wish we could be together in attending the retreat of the Flock of Divine Mercy.
3. My friend Begie's special child, Lisha will get well soon (Lisha is autistic). Please grant the whole family deeper understanding and longer patience.
4. Please grant Tata Diod endurance in battling homesickness. She badly wants to go home. And may her papers be okay the soonest time possible.
5. I pray for world peace.


I have a long, long, list of prayer. And I know He will never turn me down. Because I'm His child and so are you. Try praying and He won't let you down. Try for yourself and you'll see.

Jesus will be celebrating His birthday. It should be us who must give and offer gifts to Him. But the fact is he gave me an early christmas gift instead. My number 1 and 2 prayer had been answered already. My husband arrived last december 6, it was a last minute decision. God made my mom in law instrument so they could go home.hehehe! And last saturday, December 8 which coincides with Mama Mary's birthday, we all attended the Divine Mercy retreat.

Isn't that sweet of Jesus? Surrender everything to God and He will do the rest. Just keep believing. Let us praise and glorify God.

Posted by jaren at 6:49 AM 1 comments  

Labels: christmas, religious